November 18, 2004
falling all the time
i have daily visions. they aren't spiritual or grand, and they're always of the same thing. i don't try to evoke them, they just flash through my mind as i'm walking down my stairs. i believe my visions are a gift from God--his little reminder for me to walk slowly. as i'm walking down the old staircase from my room to the kitchen, i without fail see an image of myself falling to the bottom and losing all my teeth in the process. it makes me walk very carefully.
i'm naturally far from graceful. today i walked into the the wall because i misjudged the space. tripping and slipping cease to embarrass me.
i've walked into two sliding glass doors in my life. that's quite a surprise.
my sisters used to hate lending me their clothing because it always returned with paint stains and rips. i couldn't figure out how not to ruin clothes.
when my mom remarried, i found 2 pairs of my new dad's old hiking boots in a box and thought they were terribly cool. i didn't care that they were twice the size of my feet, and wore them everywhere i went. i tripped over myself a lot in those boots. one time i tried to climb over a fence in his massive blue boots. my foot got stuck somewhere near the top. i'm sure i looked like goofy trying to figure out how to get myself off the fence.
when i was a young child i managed to fall every time i was in the presence of a particular family friend. he only visited a couple times a year, and so i guess i got too excited when i saw him. once i ran to his car and tripped on a tree root. another time i was getting into my seat next to him at a restaurant and missed the chair. he noticed my falling around him, and worse, he pointed it out. i started walking carefully when he was in the same room.
my freshmen year of college wins the prize for falling. i fell everywhere i went that first semester. my friend megan can attest for me, because to her own humiliation, she was present for most of my falls.
part of the problem was that our campus had large rocks lining many of the pathways, and i couldn't resist walking over them. i usually either wear clunky shoes or sandals, and neither worked well for climbing over those rocks.
one day the two of us were running to chapel and i tripped over my flip flops and landed nose to the pavement. i think megan was more shocked than i was.
i slipped on the stairs down to the mail room a little more than often, though luckily every time i was clutching the railing and so only had half-falls.
that year i also started riding a bike after many years of forgetting how to ride a bike. it took me a while to figure out how to stop and get off without looking like i was going to crash.
the worst of all the falls was on the stairs in my dorm, which was actually an old 3 story house. i was on the top floor. our stairs were steep and poorly carpeted. one evening while descending with a can of open ravioli in hand, i slipped on my sock and slid the rest of the way down on my butt. i stood up drenched in ravioli sauce, my glasses covered so i couldn't see out. huge nerd. everyone came out of their rooms to see what the noise was and gawk. that time i was a little humiliated.
after a semester of such serious bruising you can imagine how nervous i was about the slipping i was soon to experience in my first new england winter. i was so afraid of falling on the ice, by the time the first snow came, i had mastered careful walking. i didn't fall once...that year at least.
it was about the time when snow started falling that my visions began. on the way down all staircases, or even down the ramps in classes, my mind would go wild with images of falling and teeth flying. it was disturbing at first but, those visions kept me safe, and still do. i believe i might need some sort of similar reminder associated with driving.
This cracked me up. At least the teeth falling out bit slows you down some. I have the same fear...I dream about all my teeth falling out.
Posted by: Courtney at November 18, 2004 10:49 AMI had many similar experiences in college. For the first three years of college I injured a leg, an arm, and passed out. All three would happen each year in turn. I even fell in my dorm from my bed, to my bed, and managed to break my arm. The worst part was that there were about 10 other people in there that saw it happen.
I also shared a talent with one of my roommates...we both have the fine ability to fall UP stairs. I can fall down them too, quite avidly, but falling up takes skill.
I think you've inspired me to write on my own blog. I'll run over there now. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: Rachel at November 18, 2004 11:33 AMI have fallen quite a bit in my life, too...twice while I was wearing a baby in a sling!
Posted by: Samantha at November 18, 2004 06:20 PMI have a few of my own embarressing stories as well. Walking into walls, and slipping on ice while being on a date, that happened twice. And another time my guy friend and I were walking in NY, and my foot got caught at the bottom of my ripped jeans, and I fell flat to the ground, cut my foot and then had to walk blocks to get to the train, and you know how crowded the sidewalks are, so just imagine how many people witnessed this.
And to get off the subject a little, when I was younger I was chosen to read a passage from the bible in front of the whole school and of course misc. people when I just began throwing up all over the place, from the podium to the back of the church. Luckily I was so sick I didn't have to go to school for over a week, and by then most people forgot about it. I know it's off the subject but it was an embarressing moment.
courtney. i have similar dreams. i think they're different from the falling thing...i heard they have something to do with not being able to say what you want...something about speaking.
rachel. i fall up stairs too, but it's not quite as dangerous so i don't mind.
samantha. in a baby sling--that's bad. if someone would pay me to wear children around in a sling all day, i would gladly devote my life to it...as long as the kids are asleep. slings make me excited about being a mom one day.
carla. my brother grant had a similar church experience. i think that's more humiliating than falling.
Posted by: kelly at November 19, 2004 09:42 AMKelly I just love you! Thanks for the laugh!
I can't say I fall too much but I can relate to the clothes-ruining thing. I am presently the owner of only 2 skirts that are not stained with paint, gesso, or the like. but i don't care. the life of an art major, what can i say
step away from the car... i love that you shared these stories, the ravioli one is just precious!
i have had some loved ones who are older fall and injure themselves permanently, i fell right after that happened and hurt myself (not permanently, but it scared me). i saw a psalm once about a promise to 'keep my feet firm'. i claimed that promise and repeat it often, especially on stairs. i'll have to do a bible gateway search to find out which one it is, but it helps me to place my feet firmly on each step instead of pretending i'm 16 again!
Posted by: bobbie at November 19, 2004 05:27 PMYou make me smile! Thank you. Good idea with the driving thing. I'm going to suggest that to my kids. I may even paint them a picture or two.
Posted by: Deb at November 19, 2004 05:29 PMhere it is:
Psalm 56:13
For you have rescued me from death;
you have kept my feet from slipping.
So now I can walk in your presence, O God,
in your life-giving light.
kel, you are hilarious. i remember you being silly and clumsy, but i dont remember you falling a lot. oh well. hey, im gonna be home for thanksgiving, can i come visit? if youre gonna be there let me know. one day when im not doing homework i would love to come say hello.
Posted by: Erin Weaver at November 19, 2004 08:12 PMkelly,
i have this prayer/poetry book that i got for my 21st birthday that has a prayer for stairs in it. i keep hunting for it, so i copy the poem for you - but the darn thing is proving to be elusive.
i'll just stop waiting to find it and tell you i love this post.
Posted by: amy at November 19, 2004 09:10 PMi fall...upstairs, downstairs (rolled down, in the middle of lunch in high school), running in the street wearing birkenstocks (and got whiplash), out of trees (onto a cement parking block and got a concussion)...and at least three other highly public occurrences in jr/sr high, resulting in popping my knee out of place, being covered in mud head to toe, and re-popping my knee out of place.
now my injuries revolve around the youth group - bruises, twisted ankles, red hands from the slap game, and one broken toe - my first broken bone ever.
i too love the ravioli story. (and thanks for the image of the teeth...it showed up in my dream last night...) : |
Posted by: steph at November 20, 2004 11:55 AM(and your stairs are so very cool!)
Posted by: steph at November 20, 2004 11:56 AMgwen. since i started wearing an apron, the stained clothing has lessened. though i recently ruined my favorite dress by sitting in white paint. i'm thinking about painting flowers all over it so i can wear it again.
bobbie. thanks for the verse. i need to pray it for myself.
deb. i'm not a terrible driver but i get distracted. music is probably my biggest problem.
erin. i wish i could say i will be there, but i am on my way to kansas for the week to see jeremy and all our family out there. very sad. but christmas is next month. we will have to hang out while your home.
amy. i hate it when that happens. if you find it in the future, i'd love to read it.
steph. thanks for sharing your falls, and i'm sorry the teeth image showed up in your dream. it's kind of disturbing.
Posted by: kelly at November 21, 2004 10:00 AMI was clumsy and always in a hurry in college - tried running down the double-flight of cement steps in front of my dorm room in college, wearing a cheap pair of sandals... slipped and slid down the steps on my ankle, the wrong way, tearing all the ligaments in my ankle. I think that's when my stair-falling dreams started - I wish that I had had them as a warning before I tried to rush down the stairs that day! My injured ankle has been a struggle for the 25 years since then - though it's lessened now, and about 12 years ago I was finally healed of the fear of stairs that resulted from my fall, and can go up and down stairs pretty happily most of the time!
I love your stairs, what a warm and homey place!!
Posted by: Chris(tine) at November 21, 2004 01:46 PM